Ever Wondered?

I am laying on my bed, 3 or 4 in the morning and studying the walls, and the ceiling, and my hands, and smelling my eyes, and speaking to my feet. I wish I was laying on the glittering white sands by the Aegean Sea, 87 degrees fahrenheit, and the sea breeze. I reach my hand and grab a fistful of warm sands, all the while the night is screeching and sinking its teeth to the windows of my dark room, but I am lost in the slow movement of waves washing my name away that I wrote with a stick. I let the fear die-out right outside my window, and all I see is the brilliant colors of the beach, all I feel is the breeze. That was my dream, somewhere in Southwest of Turkey, alone, in blue collarless thin cotton shirt, short shorts, bare foot, and chocolate dark skin.

Now hours later, sitting at a cafe I remember what my mom used to say when I played out during the summers, I would go home, and she would say “oh my dark baby, glowing again” – How I yearn for the beach this morning, for the heat, the sun, the glow of my skin, laughter of my mom. It’s Friday, and my mind is wandering, so I let it be. I wonder if I ever was in your dream? And if I were, where was I in it, what was I wearing, and which way the wind was blowing? Ever wonder in whose dream you will appear tonight, if you do? Ever wonder what you’d like to tell them? Ever wonder how many times you have been just a face or a an extra to someones important dream? Ever looked around and thought the same thing? All these faces, and will you remember any of them tomorrow?

So much is happening right here, someone next to you may be reading a bad news, someone who just passed you on her bike might be going to a hospital to say her last goodbye to someone she loved, someone sitting in a room in the building that you could see from your window might be nervous about what to tell to their crush. Ever wondered?

I, sometimes, like to reach my arm out to the empty space, and imagine putting it on someones shoulder, then my voice gets tender, and I cry a little cry for them. I know someone out there might have done this this for me too.

Washington, D.C.
7.27.18

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