Damn! Thank you!!! whoever you are! I love you!
Because of you
Because of you, each day is a melon slice
smelling sweetly of earth.
Because of you, all fruits reach out to me
as if I were the sun.
Thanks to you, I live on the honey of hope.
You are the reason my heart beats.
Because of you, even my loneliest nights
smile like an Anatolian kilim on your wall.
Should my journey end before I reach my city,
I’ve rested in a rose garden thanks to you.
Because of you I don’t let death enter,
clothed in the softest garments
and knocking on my door with songs
calling me to the greatest peace.
This is going to be an unorganized rant – I wrote and deleted so much and I just can’t go on and have no desire to edit….. but parts of this projetc, besides making poetry more accessible is to push my levels of vulnerability, that is in writing and “art”, which to sort of spills to my life….. also.. you know as always… do what I feel like doing here..
Man! what a wild few days – phew! Dearest flower lady – thank you, because of you I was able to go through days of madness… ah I guess.. what makes me – me is what almost drives me insane – and how wonderful you are! Your calm smile, your kind hands offering refuge to hearts that are closed and in fear, to hearts that are guarded, where do you come from? How far is your home? and what secret you hold in the red house of yours? And tell me do hummingbird come sing behind your ears?
When Rilke said :
“For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror
which we are barely able to endure, and it amazes us so,
because it serenely disdains to destroy us.
Every angel is terrible.“
I just loved those words, as a young boy, as someone easily touched by words, as someone who cries for beauty of a green soft moss on the roots of majestic redwoods….. little I knew that beauty indeed is terrorizing…
Take lilies for example, did you know that they can kill a cat in 2 to 3 days? Lilies — I mean if there were real angels, they must sleep in lilies, yet they can kill a cat… Did you know your day can go from listening to Bach cello number three, to making decisions about to keep a cat alive* within hours? Beauty must not be too far from terror, the same way life is not too far from death.
* Jean-Luc ate some lily leaves… they are fucking super deadly for cats… thankfully he just dodged the bullet so nothing to worry about, but man until the test results came in this morning I felt like I am holding my breath with all I have… and when I came up to the surface… the oxygen the relief nearly burst me…