It was winter and cold
and you never thought I’ll write this story,
when you ripped your clothes
and yelled out of window.
We were naked
and mad
you wanted out
your body was damaged
and you were hallucinating on dope.
In pain
and death looked better than anything you had seen.
There’s no escape kiddo, I said
you just have to live through it
through hell
through heaven.
no one asked you if you wanted to join the party
And no one will show you the door to leave either.
You said you are seeing yourself in your dreams
and you are healthy
and fire has not burned your soul to ashes yet.
it’s ok kiddo,
you’ll pass through this too
but you won’t escape it.
You said (still high) that the other you is mad at you
and you are scared of him.
No one to blame, kiddo
you are not your own fault.
You collapsed
flames rose
and the dream turned to ashes.
I woke up with a sweat
Still covered in bandages
Still me
in the dark hospital room
drank water
and smiled.
It was winter
and snow was falling softly,
dead angels
There’s no escape, kiddo
but you’ll pass through this too.

Washington, D.C.

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